note to self: DON'T WORRY

For two years I didn’t fall sick. I was putting my body through hell, friends fell sick around me but I never even got a sniffle or headache (hangovers don’t count). It led me into a false sense of thinking that I was impervious to sickness, that I was some sort of superwomen :)

So since Langkawi which was oh such a long time ago I have struggled. Big Time. Last year work was not as demanding and I was able to execute the training and have more rest. Since Langkawi it has been Go, Go, GO with regards to work and that has affected my energy levels hugely, it has meant even when training I am usually thinking about what I have to do as soon as the session is finished.

Also post IM, physically my body fell apart, so did my head for a little while there. But the body was in tatters. I had done two previous IM’s and felt great and recovered. This one however I think the damage ran a lot deeper.

And then just as I begin to feel better and see light at the end of the tunnel and get ready to step up to the next phase – WHAM. Emma gets sick again. This time I was taking no chances and went straight to the doctors and demanded antibiotics.

So all my friends – my triathlon family, raced PD today. I accepted over a week ago that I probably would not be going, but left it until Thursday to let coach make the call. Initially it was to be a training day. I am far from fit – hence the reason we call it a training day. But going in under cooked and not 100% healthy would have me back in bed tomorrow morning – exactly where I spent most of last weekend :(

PD tri is especially meaningful to me. We all know it is a distance I rather fondly despise but two years ago Port Dickson triathlon was the very first thing I won, EVER. Never had I come first in anything on my life before (unless you count a poetry competition!!!)

Despite the emotional attachments and my desire to race, it’s no biggie, not sad at all. After Langkawi I made a list of the races I wanted to do this year. The thing is you can have an idea of what you want to do but you never know what is going to happen between A and Z. Well so much has happened that has forced me to rethink and re focus. The Philippines 70.3 was to be a target. Now it has become another training day. I have four weeks today until THAT training race. But hey, there are worse things in life to deal with and it is just a race.

And so this year has now come down to two triathlon events. One is already completed. The next stop is Kona. There are ‘potential’ things in-between but they will be last minute decisions.

After spending my first week of phase two struggling and sweating it out on the turbo wrapped up in jumpers with the air-con off, the swim was the only discipline that despite having bad congestion – carried on pretty smoothly. I have made some huge improvements in this department and that gives me great confidence for October. My fitted T’s are getting slightly too fitted these days – so all that work in the pool is paying off and I can also loosely blame this for my extra weight increase :)

So Monday I stepped up again under the instruction of build back slowly. I have a lot of strength and power. I just have no endurance. I have also switched a lot of my training around. No longer do I have earth shattering early mornings that do not let me rest. Instead my monster Wednesday starts with a swim. I love to swim in the morning. I then ride long and run in the afternoon. What about work I hear you say!

Well I figure since I work late most nights and on weekends because of the demands of keeping on top of the teams racing, if I am able to take a Wednesday afternoon for myself over the next 11 weeks then that’s what I will do.

I rode my first 4hour ride yesterday for a long time. I kept hearing the words SLOW in my head. What is slow though? How am I supposed to feel? Does it mean no pain in the legs? A low heart rate? In the end I finished the ride and took it easy in stages. If my head was starting to hurt I backed off.

My afternoon session was a mental battle. Head hurt, back hurt, arms hurt…grumble grumble. In the end I listened to that word SLOW again and at 6pm I went for just a swim. A leisure swim. For 30minutes I went up and down and the time flew by. Loved it, the aches and pains had faded and I felt awesome afterwards.

This morning I did a two-hour run at Bukit Aman. Again, the word SLOW kept ringing in my head; I have struggled hugely with my run because of an injury and my legs are just basically a mess. I was told the run is harder to get back. I was told they have lost the electricity but don’t worry we are on track.

So rather than try and kill myself this morning my goal was to finish the two hours and feel ok. Mission accomplished and even better, with a BIG smile. There was a walk/run going on as I was heading back and never have I smiled so much and said so many good mornings! It was good to get that one in the bag. I keep telling myself not to worry, it will come back, patience and as you hear a lot, hurry slowly.

I have eleven weeks to go. It seems like a long time. It isn’t. I am excited. As I was running back this morning I got REALLY excited and couldn’t stop grinning (I probably looked pretty stupid, all alone and grinning like a Cheshire Cat). The best part about this morning is it was the first run I have done since February without hip flexor discomfort. I wish I could say the same about the burning pain in my quads…but I need that pain to remind me I am still alive!

I will be taking it one session at a time and I shall not worry about it.

I also vow to blog a little more in my lead up to Hawaii :)