Is this a joke?

Apparently there are some really...and I mean really odd things you can buy from Amazon.com. Here are a few of my standout favourites...trouble is I am still not sure if these are genuine. All seems a bit too odd to me..but then again there are plenty of crazies out there that would bite your right arm off for a genuine 'made in China' UFO detector!!! ENJOY!
UFO Detector

"Over the years many UFO sightings have reported magnetic and electromagnetic disturbances. The UFO Detector is designed to sense these disturbances and will signal their presence by flashing an LED and beeping. The elegantly designed transparent acrylic case is a handsome sculptured conversation piece that’s suitable for display on a desk, shelf or bedroom dresser."
Inflatable Bondage Chair

"This chair is great if you want to hit the road in your RV or camper but don’t want to leave the joys of S&M behind. It folds up into it’s own little pouch bag so you can carry it on day hikes and you can blow it up(or order it blown up) with a bicycle pump or even by mouth. The exterior is not really tough enough for the rough stuff, but the simulated plastic covering makes clean ups a snap. And please remember folks, while this chair is great fun in the family pool(the velcro restraints make great beverage holders) this is NOT intended as a safety flotation device."
Wolf Urine "Use our 100 percent urine lures to create the illusion predators are present in the area you wish. Great for photographers, gardeners, hunters and wildlife enthusiasts. Due to changes in shipping regulations, we cannot ship this item to California."

For the remaining odd stuff go to http://www.random-good-stuff.com/2009/07/14/odd-things-you-can-buy-from-amazon/

Weak Week

Astro is off - I did pay my bill!! So anyway thought I would post a few whitterings about my week...its been a rollarcoaster!

I don't do week round-ups anymore, IM training is not upon me and it's always the same ol' same ol'. But this week was tough. I took a battering mentally, physically and verbally - none of which were pleasant.
It started after PD. Thinking I would have 2 or 3 days of 'lighter' stuff as per what I did post Melaka. OH NO...nothing could be further from the truth. Straight back into it on Monday morning, the body was sore and asking me to stay in bed every morning. I didn't listen of course...when the body is weak the mind takes over...when the mind is weak hopefully the body will carry you through.

Come Wednesday morning I was running on empty. The early morning ride and brick run were in the bag but I still had THAT swim to do. I left it until after work and just couldn't seem to raise any heart rate levels or feel pain. What was going on?? I then did something I am not proud of (and while this may sound petty to some) for me it is a BIG deal. I got out after one set battiling the question what good am I doing myself?

This is only the second time in 10months that I have cut a swim short. The thing is I felt awful in the morning on the bike and then I dragged myself around the run so why couldn't I just dig deep and do the same with my swim?

I will tell you why. Because I am not very good at it!!! I received a verbal lashing and have a new mantra HTFU. I got back in that pool Thursday morning and killed my session. Skipped the turbo because I am tired and I don't need to keep improving the bike (although I would like to :) ). I NEED TO SWIM. So Friday morning 6x500 alternate with paddles - killed it and got out not able to walk in a straight line - great STUFF!

This mornings ride was no where near as fast as a couple of weeks ago...No way can you set PB's in training everytime you go out - even I accept THAT! It was fun and fast though, longer than usual and the company was great. The only way to improve in my book is always to aim high and train with people better than yourself so thank you and I really appreciate sharing the road with you guys (you know who you are). Getting off the bike for a drink stop and again difficulty standing up...I really was a walking Zombie.

The swim and brick run are in the bag. Awfully hot this afternoon but it is done...and now I am done. After churning out this volume and intensity of training for so long I have learnt to read my body and not be frightened into going and laying down on the coach to eat chocolate and channel surf when it enters such chronic stages of fatigue. You can push through and while it is not always pleasant this is where huge improvements are made both physically and mentally.

For me, every 6-8weeks the body will absolutely hit a wall. This is where it is nearly impossible to raise the heart rate because of fatigue. When this happens I do get given a day off!! But only when I ask :) And I have only had one so far under the new plan.

Yip (ultra marathon man) asked me yesterday what my objective is with all this training. It is simple. There are two reasons. The first is rather selfish. I just want to be the best I can be. I want to find out how far I can go, how hard I can push and until I hit a plateau and there seems to no more room for improvement I will keep on pushing.

The second reason is I simply love this sport. It is my life. It is my passion. I fell hook line and sinker in love with it and am now lucky enough to work in an environment that is my playground. A playground that gives me a warm happy feeling. I want to inspire and motivate and help others enjoy this lifestyle as much as I do. It doesn't matter on what level you play...what matters is that you ENJOY it. Because while I may feel like a zombie today...I am a happy one. I may be called crazE a lot of the time...but believe me when I say I would NOT be doing this if I didn't love putting myself through the trials and tribulations of training. Am I am reaching for the stars? Hell YES! They are far away...but dreams are there to be realised and I WILL reach mine one day soon.

E.

The Ostrich

Courtesy of Disco :)

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich,
'What's yours?'
'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.
'Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'
'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..
The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'
The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

No Excuses

"If you want to improve your swim. YOU SWIM"

It is as simple as that. There is no excuse. Feel tired then lighten your strongest discipline. I don't want to skip a bike session...BUT I WILL if the need arises.

The truth of the matter is. My swim HAS improved. Just not in the leaps and bounds that the bike and slowly but surely, the run has. It needs even more attention, even more pain which in turn means even more time getting wet. I will not improve if I am not getting wet. I just have to bloody H.T.F.U and stop crying about it!!!

There...glad thats off my chest now. Less talk, more action and all that...off to work.

Can't Teach Men

Sometimes it's good to live alone...here is ONE reason...

Race Report PD triathlon

Thank you Ishal, Ivie and Lynn for the wonderful pictures.

PD triathlon. Hmmmn. Last year PD was a bunch of firsts for me in more ways than one. But the notables were it was my first race on George, my trusty P2C and the first sport event/race I EVER won. Well of course I wanted to repeat this year...but I wanted to go one better and get overall...yes call me greedy if you like...I prefer motivated, focused...not willing to settle and prepared to work harder to just keep trying to improve and be the best I can be at this wonderful sport. So take your pick...but greedy? It’s never about that. So I drove down on Saturday morning with newly landed tri-GUY, Jens from Germany. Staying at the Tan household next to Avillion, races in PD with a house full of good friends is always a sure fire recipe for FUN. Last year I know I approached races and training rather intensely...obsessed and consumed are words that would best describe my attitude. It didn’t make for a very pleasant Emma a lot of the time and come January this year I decided enough was enough...it didn’t make me feel very good when I heard people were too scared to say “Hi” or were scared of me!!!
BUT, while I now approach races with a lot more calm, I do however maintain a game face for race day...especially when a race enfolds leaving me with a with a mountain to climb. A training day for me...there is no real let up in the schedule, and I know it is a distance that is not in my favour (read: short drafting bike and short run), but as always I want to do well. SO, after a short swim at home, a test ride with Jens and Wong in PD, a carbo dinner, Uncle Chan’s infamous race briefing we went back to the house.
Checked George over and then I was first in bed. Sharing a room with I thought Bee, I put my iPod on to lull me to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and looked over and saw no one in the bed??? That means 2 people were sleeping on the sofa. I found out that Meng came up and it was so dark he was too scared to come in, for fear of waking me up!!! Damn...I thought I wasn’t scary anymore :P

Anyway we found out much later the reason he didn’t venture in...he thought he was sharing a double with me...hence the reason young smiling Meng was scared...we all know how much of a MAN EATER Emma IS!!!
I was really positive when I went to bed. Felt GOOD. Had a cool text message of motivation from a friend and thought YES I can do this....Here is how it played out...
Race DAY
IPod on, coffee brewed (I bought my own cafeteire this time) and will now continue to do so. We rode down to transition with light rain in the air. Damn, hope the roads dry up...the bike is potentially a fast course...but each year seems to witness some nasty crashes.
Numbered up, bike checked in, down on the beach awaiting the wave start. I had a little swim and it was choppy. Felt ok though but got rather cold hanging about for the wave so resorted to jumping up and down and contemplated going for a jog (but didn’t).
Swim: It felt long. It was bloody LONG. I must now apologise for my language upon seeing my watch say 37minutes. SORRY. I know it was tough conditions but at the time I didn’t realise that the other girls had just as tougher time of it unless as Yip so wisely put it..."you were a fish".

Always the slowest or one of the slowest I just thought @#$&!! Yet again I have to play catch up. Now when I think back I believe I was the 6th girl out the water, out of maybe 70-80 girls that is not so bad. (Then again I may be wrong...let’s wait for the official results).

See...I even hid my head in shame!!!

Bike: I usually catch girls quickly. I hammered my bike. I had to, and NOBODY drafted me. Now this could be because I was so slow in the swim OR that I was too strong to draft off - you choose. I started to get worried when near the turnaround I saw girls coming back. Man was I in trouble. They were in a pack and I counted 4 girls...Rachael in the other age group must have been in a pack with the lead guys and I missed her. 3K towards the end of the bike and I finally over took 2 girls – at last!!!
Ride time: 1hr4min:30sec (that 60min bike is getting closer :P)

I Simply LOVE this picture...thanks IVIE...I also love my bike but you know that

Run: My run has been steadily improving over the past few weeks. Straight off the bike and I seem to be finding my run legs straight away. No discomfort other than what you would expect when trying to run people down and not blow up. I posted a negative spilt as I also did on the bike. Overtook one girl before the turnaround and as I approached the turn I saw number one girl coming back. Oh crap. She didn’t look quick but you never know if someone is just taking it easy. I finally overtook her with about 4k to go.
Came home first in age group with a PB 10k tri run time of 44min on the nose; it wasn’t good enough for 1st overall and I was still beating myself up about THAT swim until late in the evening.

Went for a light 4k jog after to clear my head and loosen up...felt really good and ready for more, then mingled around and chatted with friends. I heard EVERYONE one of your well wishes throughout the race. I know I didn’t respond but I do hear you and despite what you may think I do SEE you. And it ALWAYS helps and is appreciated. Thanks. And thank YOU for all the photos that are coming through. Making the effort to snap a picture and then email or tag me and others on facebook is a very kind deed.

After the awards we went for a large lucnh with an even larger crowd. It was great to sit down with some of the other guys I don’t train with and have a chat – super rowdy fun!
Then it was home...dropped Jens off and straight to TBB. YES I hoped on the turbo for 60mins and tried to jolt myself out of my black swim mood. I think the beer later in the evening did a better job though!
Next race...Duathlon on July 26th. Putrajaya off so I am hopping on the bus for some dry racing only...can’t WAIT.
Final words: Thanks to Mr Chan for a super organised race, Randy and Ivie for organising the house and as for those Avia BOLTS...I am still LOVING THEM!!!
Oh gosh...I just realised this is two pages long...oh well...old habits die hard and all that. E.

OH WAIT A MINUTE....THERE WERE NO JELLYFISH STINGS...RESULT!!!

POSTPONED!!!!

I am seething...I made Putrajaya my triple A race, was looking forward to it...but rumours have been circulating and it is now officially postponed. At the 11th hour this does not really effect me, we were also official bike support but this can just be rescheduled.

The people I feel for are those who have made their holiday around this race and are coming from overseas. It doesn't matter if it is 1 person or 1000 coming from overseas...it really is rather bad form and very bad luck.

The reason being is H1N1...I know this is a viable excuse and IM Japan was a clear example of how the races have been effected. But it does make you think..the timing smack bang in the middle of the summer hol's really is not great.

So now it will be on Oct 4th. I want to race...I really do, but I am not sure if I can make it now due to other commitments.

On the plus side it spreads out my races so hopefully I can give each half iron I do a good effort. Desaru will now be a focus as will the Philippines which I really really really hope is not cancelled/postponed. I just booked my flights!!!!

TDF education

It is a work in progress. I have taken it upon myself to learn about the tour, whose who, what all them jerseys stand for and am even working up to dabbling with a bet on the book! WHY? Because you all think I am a unsociable tri-geek. Yes, it is probably quite true...but when you work in a sexy bike store with 3 fit boys...I have to work pretty hard to make sure I don't look like a smuck when it comes to all things bike related!! Okay, okay...I am a plank, but I DO try and learn stuff so I can take care of George when the boys are not in yelling distance. So I also want to be able to converse in 'road' talk...even if it is just for this month ;0)

Would I change anything about being the only girl in a predominantly male environment? Absolutely NO...love every day of it even if they are LONG ones. For many years I have worked alone..I enjoy it...but nothing trumps working in a team where everyone loves what they do and go out of there way to support one another!

As for the long days...I have a serious attack of the guilt's..meetings all day meant no Wednesday swim. And a late night and 3hours sleep meant when I woke this morning swimming was just not going to happen (I have another job to go too as soon as this is posted).

Now I am thinking...quickly before job #2 today? Or leave it alone...the turbo calls for 135mins of my time tonight and then PD is upon us. Lets just hope the tank is at least half full for race day!

TBB KL - Online survey

If you didn't get the mail its becasue I don't have your email address!! But if you are familiar with The Bike Boutique KL and are a customer, then we would love to have your feedback. Please just click on the links to go to the survy, won't take a jiffy but you help and comments will prove invaluable to helping us make your experience at TBB KL even better!

Thanks, E.

TBB KL Store feedback

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=hb_2f3FdwJe7uE37_2bCzmPwrA_3d_3d

TBB KL You & Your Bike

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=4kebWMSxQJbdAxQJbdAxQYfP4slQ_3d_3d

Thanks :)

I woke at 5:30 and moved slightly too quickly for my resting legs and the left calf went into spasm with a nasty cramp. (payback for yesterday I guess).

Cramp in the calf I think is the worst sort as it leaves you hobbling and can really debilitate your performance to the extent you may have to stop. I find the best thing to do is bite down on a stick (to stop screaming out) and just stretch the bloody thing as much as you can. So with that all done I finally got out of bed and got ready.

Tey just sent me these pictures...he really is a wonderful person...always with a camera at the ready he got these snaps unknowingly to me as I was just finishing with my "run-down" (cool down).

Thank you very much Tey. If it wasn't for kind hearted soles like yourself then images of me in races would be very few...but maybe that would be a good thing...YES? NO? :)

Flipping EcK!

I have had a light week of riding - no mammoth turbos, so as you may imagine I was champing at the bit to ride this morning. The idea was hard and hopefully faster than my time to KLIA downtown 2 weeks ago.

I had some company today in the form of Wong, new guy - Jens and Wong's friend. They dropped me at the toll on the return leg. I was busy stuffing a gel into my mouth and had already shocked myself on my out time so thought just stick to my plan...no point chasing I don't want to draft anyway ;)

SO, to sum up...it hurt but I am damn proud of myself. I had a goal in mind of doing this 126k ride in 3hours 30min and thought it is a reasonable target to work towards...maybe in a couple of months.

Last time out I did 3:43. Today I did 3:30 - on the nose!!!

Stoked, elated I still cannot believe I did this. Things are looking good. Now I don't normally do data and stuff but today I am blogging it for all to see :)

You may also like to know that when I got off the bike I was very glad I wasn't running 21k let alone 42!!! still a way to go and I still gotta swim and run in a couple of hours!

Time out: 1:45

Time in: 1:45

90k split: 2:31

126k: 3:30

Avg cadence: 75

Max cadence: 105

Avg speed: 36kph

Avg HR: 152

Calories : LOTS

Rest DAY

I have a day off today from everything except that little job I do that keeps me in enough ringgit to stay hooked up to the caffeine drip. So I am going to be lazy in blogging too and let you enjoy some Calvin & Hobbes. Absolutely my FAVOURITE cartoon of all time...Calvin's antics never fail to raise a chuckle from me even when I am having a BAD day.

Today is a good day by the way...once I reattached my arms after the swim last night that is!

ENJOY :)

Tour de TOLL

I have been on George every day since Saturday (twice on Sunday). Easy stuff combined with easy "jogs". The hard stuff is in the pool. This morning rather than do turbo I joined the group for the DUKE highway ride they have been doing pretty regularly now of a Wednesday morning. I was informed it would be EASY. Sorted exactly what I need!

I was unreliably informed. OK, OK so if I need to go easy then I can, I mean no one is pointing a gun at me. BUT when someone says it is a race from toll to toll...well you can imagine...how can I resist? Especially when told there are no prizes for coming last. There are also no prizes for coming first but that's besides the point...bragging rights I think is adequate enough!!

So after a little warm up, while my legs are still pretty sore and lactic I gave it some welly. Trouble is Gane and KK are excellent wheel suckers!! Damn...gotta hurt some more.

It was GREAT fun this morning...a long time since I have ridden with you all, it does get lonely sometimes and this was a welcome reprieve. Next week back to a 3hour Wednesday morning so no clue when I will be able to join again...but when the program allows I will be there ready to tear it up!

THANKS!

Race Report ATM Triathlon (PICTURE UPDATE)

YES! Amongst other things I forgot my race belt...I am allowed...I am an amateur after all!

So I will try and be brief...you heard that before right- YEAH!
Drove down late last night. Actually, sorry didn’t leave late but arrived rather late as my co driver...aka Disco Dave felt the need to NOT listen and have faith in the Major’s text message instructions!! (Kidding mate) or not. Anyway Dave felt so bad he let me take the bed in our apartment and he took the sofa. Now I say “apartment” in the loosest of terms. Think shitty kitchen, combination of wallpapers hanging off the wall, dodgy everything...as Disco said when he takes a gal away for the weekend he REALLY does it in STYLE!!
It was just a place to lay our head and thank you Wong for arranging the room and Major for collecting our packs.
I realised I had forgot my race belt...no biggie...I also forgot something else even more important than a race belt after I showered and changed after the race but I will leave that to your imagination!
Ok so onto race day...
Cup of shitty coffee...really must start taking my own brew. Banana nut muffin (home cooked). We rode down to the start about 2k away for about 7am, race was due to start at 8ish (Malaysian time).
Not many people, very few ladies but a good atmosphere. Steph my nemesis was there so unless someone else slipped under the radar if I got out the swim and had a clean bike it would be between the two of us.
I went for a warm up swim in the polluted water that had ZERO visibility and with only 3 little buoys to sight and a pair of goggles that gave me vision similar to that of Mr Magoo I was worried I would be able to find my way round one loop let alone two. I was in the water less than 5mins and bam, zap, pow, yow...WTF!! FIVE jelly FISH STINGS I tell you. Right arm twice, left calf, feet twice, enough of a warm up for me I think.
I went to medical with Razlan and they were not yet organised. I stood about then headed back to the start. Then went back to the tent and they applied iodine on the worst part of the arm. I started walking away and they called me back. I thought ooo, what special potion have they got for me. So I went over and they gestured to the medical beds. I frowned and said “WHAT”? They said REST? I said...Excuse me??? I gotta race to do!! HA and off I went.
SWIM: First 250m good, then I got stung again on each loop. This time on the neck, feet and left arm badly. The swim was long as one of the buoys had moved so 1750m not 1500m. It went on and on and on I just wanted out. I felt cramp threatening in my left calf that was stung and couldn’t kick; this I guess did not help matters. I got out in a damn awful 45min and was told I was 20minutes behind.
My first thought was, must be 20minutes behind the leaders – guys included surely I can’t be 20 behind Steph. (I found out later I was 20behind Steph and Steph was the 1st out the water!)

BIKE: Oh well I thought, 2nd again. Really wasn’t feeling good, calf felt crampy. I put the hammer down straight away but never EVER felt comfortable. I was going hard and pretty fast but knew it should be better. I was in such a focus mode that in the first loop of 4 I went flying past the turn that the policeman was marshalling!! Crap here we go again, can anything else go wrong?? Back on course and I started overtaking and picking up “friends” aka my peloton. On the 2nd loop word must have got round of the sizable group behind me and I had police escorts clearing the road and army bikers – WELL COOL – LOVED IT. They did an excellent job, hats off to the guys. On the bike course also there were 48 small kampong roads leading off the course. Each road was marshalled by 2 people for safety – again awesome JOB! When we came past the seafront the road was lined with supporters all yelling it was really nice and with the police bike firing up his siren clearing the road for me and my “friends” it was a great experience and almost made me forget about the shitty swim.
After passing the crowds with myself at the front, on the next two loops as we came into view of the supporters to save face one of the guys would come out the pack and ride upfront! At first I thought hey good on you. And for the first time ever I thought okay I will draft he was holding the pace I had been doing. BUT as soon as we were out of sight of the supporters the B******* dropped straight off the front and back behind me. I looked at him as if to say IS THAT IT?? And then thought oh WTF if it makes you feel more of a MAN!
He did it again on the final loop by the way.
Ride: 1hr 8min – I WILL do a 1hr ride...sometime...got quicker on each loop which is WHY I AM A LONG DISTANCE GIRL!! 40k!! Bahhhhh.
RUN: Out on to the run and I am now informed leader is 5mins in front. WOW...now I am thinking I could actually do this. Trouble is on the bike I gave it my all telling myself to feel the pain...you must feel pain and then just handle the run when it comes. I seriously didn’t know if my leg would seize and whether I would or could run...just cross that bridge when I get there was the train of thought. Well amazingly my legs worked. I caught Steph within 3k and finished my run without incident in 45minutes...all things considering very happy with that...and I ended up with a 10-12minute cushion. So while I am pissed about the swim I am pleased how I handled everything today and carried on and let my strength and perseverance carry me through. I even started blogging on the run to take my mind off the pain!
Disco did fantastically well especially after he hit a pothole on the first loop and his handle bars took a little dive! We collected our prizes (I can now fly to the Philippines 70.3 instead of taking a slow boat which is what doing the race today all was about) and then drove straight back.
I had an instructed 60min turbo from coach to do, so as soon as I got home I went down to TBB and hooked George up to the turbo and span for 60minutes. It’s not as crazy as it sounds. When you do as much long stuff as I do week in week out it was just about loosening up. But I am rather pooped now you may be glad to hear.
So that’s it...a good training day and a fun manic weekend with good friends who made the journey. Really well organised and crowd supported for a small race and I would definitely go again next year if the calender allows!
Great JOB!

NB:There where people taking pictures and I hope I am able to find some and post later on! THANKS Abu, for forwarding me the links for the great pictures. There was however one picture someone took when I actually smiled (it was on the run)...it is out there somewhere - HONEST!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/adzliyana/&http://www.flickr.com/photos/zonesdesign/sets/72157620529499817/
PD in two weeks...Will someone alert the Jelly Fish that Emma Bishop is coming to PD!
What am I doing tomorrow?? After checking in with the BOSS – 3 days of SERIOUS SWIMMING!!!

Work Ethics

Just pinched this from my buddies face book page. I say buddy...I do know the guy...he knows me from way back but I still can't bloody place him! Anyway way this is cool:

"You should always give 100% at work... 12% Monday; 23% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 5% Friday"

Of course this only applies to those you DO NOT enjoy their job. I would like to add that this DOES NOT in no way apply to EMMA'S work ethic with TBB - I give 100% everyday...:)