Monday, May 17, 2010

Goodbye Old Friend

I am supposed to guy to Ngae's wake and here I am sitting in TBB. My home away from home. It is probably best and I am going to say goodbye the best way I know how. Through the written word.
It's been the usual busy day but it wasn't until I got to TBB later this afternoon and sat down that what has happened started to sink in. I thought I was handling it all a little too easy, very weird. Especially as it really doesn't take much to set my emotions off into a turmoil. I edited a story today for the website. It is an amazing true story and one I have been waiting to tell since I first met this person last year. It is so bloody ironic how today I am editing this man's 'happy' story on a day where my friend Ngae's story did not have such a happy ending.
What may you ask is the link? The link is both men had a brain tumor. Both men are Ironman. Both men fought against the odds. One has a happy ending, the other has sadly departed this world.
Ngae's actions have made me look deep inside myself. I have had my own ups and downs, we all have. Funnily enough the last time I spoke with our friend was on legal matters pertaining to a personal situation. I am a long long way away from my family, so my friends here are my family. Without my friends my downs would have been deeper and darker and I may not have had the strength to come through. True friends are those that stand by you whatever. I mean whatever as in whatever you do, however crazy, silly, selfish, rude, arrogant you get...they recognize you are in a bad place and stand by you...WHATEVER.
Why have I been so sad this afternoon? Why do tears keep falling?
Because I didn't know Ngae was in such a dark place. I don't know if any of us knew. We would have been there I am sure if we knew. We would have been there whatever. But we didn't know how bad it had got until it was too late.
Goodbye Old Friend. I am booking my tickets to Kona and you are coming with me.

2 comments:

sofiantriathlete said...

It so difficult to handle this E.

jennifer said...

i gotta stop reading all these blog tributes. It's making my cry each time