Sunday, October 31, 2010

And the Tan Lines are Fading

Okay, so I didn’t get much of a tan. I think we all know that Emma doesn’t ‘brown’ very well! But for me I did turn a darker shade of pale and now my skin is shedding and returning to its normal magnolia self.

I took a lot of pictures on my trip. It has been years, around 15 to be exact of when I last took so many pictures. Not quite sure why I stopped, maybe I just got lazy. And as much as I love to write, sometimes a picture is all you need to say those thousand or so words that routinely flow from my fingertips.
I will never tire of looking at these Maui sunsets
So, back to normal or is it? It actually is not back to normal. Back to normal for me would mean going backwards and getting lost again. So I am taking everything I learnt while away and applying it to my new journey. It started yesterday when I rode with the guys. They said it was just 100k. I said I am just going to the toll – for me that is a nudge over 70k. Wet and punctuated with 3 punctures before we reached the toll I was asked to go a little bit more, just 15mins they said.

Yes, but 15minutes out and 15 back is 30mins. That’s an extra 15km roughly, so why not 30mins out and 30back? When and where do you draw the line? When is enough, enough? Before going away I was easily talked into doing a little bit more and then finding out all about it when the effort would come and hit me up the bum.

No one else knows how you feel except YOU. But sometimes the toughest challenge of getting well is listening to YOU. Another person who I do not see much asked how my ‘so-called illness’ was. Well that made me feel like crap, like I was a faker, because from the outside I am functioning so much better than I have for a long time. But inside the workings are still pretty rusty. But only I know this, I FEEL this. No one else can SEE it or FEEL it.

So if training and doing an IM is about mental strength so is getting better. I could ignore group rides and runs and just do stuff on my own but that isn’t fun so until I am ready to go longer I will join to the best and as far as my body will allow and I will do no more than that.

When I am ready to make my switch and start again you all will know about it. And if you want to come along for the journey you are more than welcome. But until then Emma’s mission is to reduce weight and have a healthy clean engine so she is primed and ready to go faster and better than before :)

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