I do not blog as often as I used too. It's not that I have nothing to say. We all know waffle is one of my areas of expertise. No, the reason I don't get to blog as much is because my days are pretty jam packed. By the time I get home in the evening I am running on empty. Putting fuel in the tank is first on the agenda and then shortly, very shortly after...bed. The weeks have been flying by, I can still say I have had no illnesses, a cold, a sniffle, a fever...but training does come round and whack me up the head every few weeks when I least expect it. It usually lasts a day or so. I take a day, recharge and battle on. Last week however I followed instructions to the best of my commitments, time and ability and still hit wall after wall after wall and am still ploughing through them today.
It's kind of like the Grand National of tri-training. I am a race horse of sorts and can see the obstacles in front. Some pretty big, some pretty average. I get ready to jump and end up crashing straight into Bleachers Brook again and again.
Powerman was I think the start of the downhill. Two easy bike/run days and normal swims was the post race recipe. Trouble is I had to teach Turbo Night on Tuesday and that ladies and gentleman is where I really started to unravel.
So I could have taken the classes easy. By no means did I give 100% but two hours and not finishing until late at night was pretty tough on this 9pm lights out girl.
Wednesday a long swim, an evening run...pretty pooped, but back into it was the idea. Thursdays turbo didn't start until way after store closing. Finished training at 11pm...ouch. Friday I took a days leave. Took a fellow visiting TBB teammate from Melbourne to Ulu Yam. I know, I know not a normal ride day but it was social.
By the afternoon my days leave was turned into a Melbourne marketing meeting at La Bodega. Finished at 7.30pm.
Saturday, Ulu Langkat and Perez. Great, great ride with a big group Daniel and Wong had put together. I enjoyed being with the group even if I did go off the front...just can't handle sitting in a pack...ya know. I knew I was in trouble, it had been brewing fast all week. By the time I approached Perez I knew it was going to be smelling the flowers assent. I probably could have walked faster up there. Got to the top had a nice group shot and we rode down to Batu 18 coffee shop. That 10k strip from the foot of Perez to Batu 18 is a tempting TT. And as buggered as I was I told myself 15minutes. Just 15minutes of pain and suffering...can I do it?
I did. An average of 40kph thru to batu 18...I think the first time I have managed that. I got off the bike and that was my mistake. Flashbacks of last year of falling over. And I nearly lost it. Could not focus, I was Bambi...wobbly legged without the doe eyes!! No, my eyes were rattling around in my head, and my head...well it somehow was still attached.
It was a lonely ride back. I let the group catch me after I set off first and then saw them go past. Staying awake and upright was my priority and not getting too upset with myself, had a cry, had a shout, told myself to HTFU and onwards.
I got back in one piece, showered refueled and rested. Swimming next. That was ok...or so I thought but then pretty much more of the same falling over after it was done. The brick run...GREAT. Smashed it and then promptly needed help standing up. Are you getting the picture?
Sunday run. Was I looking forward to this? NOPE. I started off with Julie. I needed to go slow. Things not working well. By the time we stopped to cross at Jalan Duta there came that falling woozy sensation again. I told Julie how I felt and said I wasn't sure I could complete it. As we were going past the mosque I saw May Senn and Mac walking the other way. I really wanted to turn and walk with them.
Julie told me to turn back shortly after. But I figured that was a mistake as I had no fluids only GU chomps. I said I would go to Petronas not do the loop and get a cab. Five minutes later I told her F*** IT. I am doing the whole bloody thing even if it takes me my whole two hours to do it. Usually my 2hour run sees me cover 24/25k's not just 21.
I finished. It was a bricks and mortar week. Nothing was pretty about my training. EVERYTHING was mind strengthening and proof that when you are on empty there is still more to be found. I was not under eating...I have fueled up more this weekend than I have for a good few months. A training fatigue wall that was probably long overdue, I am still nursing myself through it now. Wondering what next will happen. How will I complete the turbo session this evening?
I know this much. Unless I am told don't do it. I will do it. And if I start my training...whatever session it is and no matter how crap and bad and ugly it gets I will always FINISH it. Time on these days does not matter. That is why I NEVER log my training times and distances. It simply doesn't matter. Completion is all that matters. If you must walk, then walk. If you must pedal in the granny gear then pedal in the granny gear. And if you must swim slower than you thought humanly possible then do it. Training through this is only way you learn how to handle emotions, fatigue and test your body so that on race day you will start and you will FINISH.
How do I feel now? Still like crap. But its ok. I am just training and I am never supposed to feel my best. My best I save for when it really matters and we all know when that days is!