#485

This is my number. My next post I will most probably have this number sun burnt onto my skin. I do not mind. If I have a good day, I really do not mind at all.

I am surprisingly calm. Many people, the boss who signs the cheques, would disagree. But I guess he has never seen me when not calm. In the old days. Not so long ago.

The butterflies keep passing through and churning up my stomach. It keeps lurching as if on a rollar coaster. This feeling reminds me I am alive and this important to me. It is what I have been training a very long time for. I should be nervous, but I am trying to keep a lid on it and have fun :)

Today has been tiring but good. I have laughed A LOT. But then again I find I always laugh a lot when in this wonderful playground. The fire of passion for this lifestyle burns in my belly and I am truly happy.

The only thing that could make me any happier? Ahhhh...well we all know what that would be. We shall just have to wait and see...

Thank you for all your messages of good luck. I will carry them with me and keep each one as fuel to move on and PUSH when the going gets tough.

Until Sunday...Ciao.

E.

And...Breathe....

It is race week. That time is upon us again. It has come around mightily quick this year. Maybe that's because I am getting older. Maybe it's because I rarely have time to breathe. Whatever the reason, I have seen you counting down the days and now I see/hear you enjoying your taper.

Many are excited about the pending weekend. That is great to hear. When I think I have no energy to move I only have to go into TBB and chat to those of you who come in either to hang out, check your bike in or buy yet more nutrition. Your energy is contagious. A good contagious. Many of you are anxious (totally normal). And many of you are scared, (absolutely normal). Hand on heart, this is the category I fall into. But that (when I cannot get to sleep at night) is a good thing, I think?

Everyone has done the training. Some have trained with the target of completion. Others have trained with the goal of racing. Whatever path you have swam, rode and ran to the jetty on Kuah Bay this Saturday we will all tread water as equals. We are all in the same playground. It is a playground I love to be in, I will be in my element. Probably perhaps, maybe a little highly strung - I do not know. But in the best playground in the world with like minded athletes, acquaintances, supporters, and close friends.

This will be just my 3rd IM. I realised the other day that is really not a lot. Sharing the field with multiple IM finishers there is still much to learn.

This past year I have learnt (although coach would disagree) to do the training and then leave it alone. Forget about it and carry on with work and life. I sometimes forget this lesson but I try to adhere to it as best I can.

Another lesson and this one is equally important is never forget to ENJOY your training. This is one that I have on occasion 'forgotten'.

The hardest lesson of all and one that becomes a daily struggle as the race nears is switching off and ignoring what everyone else is doing around you. Short of becoming a hermit it is almost impossible and takes a very large pair of blinkers and a pair of deaf ears, to execute. For my own sanity I have had to do this...training down a path that has been new it has been tough...that was never in doubt. I have enjoyed it immensely and hope to continue to do so. I still have no clue what I will be capable on Saturday. PB's are not something that I record nor are they something I am very familiar with in training.

Training has been either good as in I felt strong or good as in I felt terrible but I executed and that's it. I have swam more than I ever have in my life and my confidence in the water has improved but I know I am still no fish.

Thank you to those who have been there in my time of need. Supported me on the occasional long swim, politely tailed me in early morning rides, and lent support for however long they were able on the run. And to those others who have had nothing but words of kindness and support and belief in me, thank you. Your words I have read on the blog, on FB, on email have given me strength when most needed. In no particular order and apologies if I have missed you out - head still not remembering everything: Sofian, Faisal, Adzim, Julie, John, Kharis, Ezer, Jamie, Hayley, Sam, Paul, Joel, Bee, Kar Yan, Martin, Disco and finally for when I needed that kick up the butt or injection of courage and confidence, Brett.

See you at the race and don't forget to breathe...

What the ??

I was sifting through some facebook pictures the other day for some 'suitable' snaps of yours truly to accompany an article someone has decided to write on me!!
This image made me laugh. I was not laughing at the time it was taken though. And it takes little imagination to guess what I was saying!!! Hopefully my swim in a few days time will have me exiting the water in a manner more befitting and appropriate...perhaps a smile even?? Nahhh lets not get ahead of ourselves :)

Finally DONE

China is a race I was always going to do. I decided this last year. I wanted to do it last year but circumstances didn't allow me too. The idea was do well in Langkawi and do the 70.3 in China for FUN. As such I have not made any decision on what I am doing until last Thursday.

I told myself just focus on Langkawi. But the problem is the China question mark has been subconsciously haunting me and adding to the mental chaos.

So I penned an email to the powers that be. I have no problem with it, he says. So register and forget about it.

So today before the 2pm deadline when the registration fee increased again and with the support of my good Samaritan race sponsor I signed up for the FULL. I decided whatever happens I don't want half the experience - I want it all. And I can't wait.

You know who you are. And Thank YOU.

Valentines Joke

It's not really a valentines gag but who really celebrates this day anyway?? The most cards I ever got on Valentines day was a grand total of THREE. Whoopty WHOOP. Am I bitter? Did I get any cards this year? No and NO. Am I bothered? NO. If you are lucky enough to have a significant other then EVERY day should be special. Be thankful you have a significant other. Respect and appreciate one another...Oh listen to me going off on one - hahah.
Okay the joke...courtesy of Disco Dave (thank you).
A little known fact...
The first testicular guard was used in cricket in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
It took 100 years for men to realize that their brains could also be important :)

Hear me ROAR!!!!!!!!!

Gong Xi Fai Cai to ALL my Chinese friends. And to all my non Chinese friends, I think we know how blessed we are to have so many public holidays and festivals to celebrate and indulge in.

Next week I will enjoy the calm and serenity that KL becomes while every man and his dog go Balik Kampung!

Ahhhhh...bliss.

It is indeed the year of the Tiger. I am a Tiger. It is my year. Hear me Roar, I was practising a little last night while teaching TurboNites...think I shocked Daniel at the volume of my ROAR :)

Have a good one guys, be safe, eat, sleep, indulge and don't forget some training - takes some of the calorie guilt away ;)

Out the Sand

I managed to get my head out the sand the other day but it was still not quite in the right place.Luckily I have some very good friends and can report the head is back in the right place on top of the neck facing forward. Was a close shave...but not too much damage done :)Friends may not be able to PULL you up...BUT THEY WILL think of ways not to let you FALL. Thank you :)

Bloggers Block

I have wanted to blog. I have been meaning to blog. I like blogging. But I have had ‘bloggers block’. This is actually a certified term and most probably in the dictionary right up there with all the other crazy terminology our great Oxford Dictionary has decided to adopt. But so long as ‘arse’ remains ‘arse’ and not ‘ass’ I won’t complain.

Usually training gives me plenty of time to mental ‘blog’.When alone in the pool, on the bike or on the run, ‘stuff’ usually comes to me in waves. I have those ‘light bulb’ moments. A rule of my blogging is that the negatives must always be turned into positives – it doesn’t matter how bad the experience is if there is no positive it isn’t going to be blogged.
I am still learning about this game (read:triathlon). I have a lot to learn and every day I am reminded of that fact. I think I know myself, my strengths, my weaknesses. And then I am proven wrong. I find it easy to talk and encourage others; this is what I love to do. Hearing about your stories, your journey, the trials and tribulations of life outside my cave that has become my place of solitude for the past few months. This I am afraid is my body’s choice not mine, sometimes it is my heads choice, but most of the time it is the bodies choice to stay put and not venture out into the big wide world of KL.
So you can probably understand why I love to hear what others are doing. As mine has become pretty well scripted. Not many changes and re-writes going on to speak of, same ol’ same ol. But the problem with being tucked away in a cave is you miss out on all the FREE energy and vibes out there. Positive people give off positive energy and vibes. This can also be translated as FREE FUEL. While this kind of FUEL will not halt the hunger pangs it works to move one forward when you think you are done.
I experienced this gift of free fuel last week. You should always practice what you preach and I thought I do this. Apparently not though and hence I still have a lot to learn. I am a thinker. Apparently I am an over thinker and over think training, goals and life in general. Try as I might NOT to over think, hello!, I still do it. I have feelings of guilt if a session is not completed as it should and think that that one session alone will be a valuable loss. As such I have ploughed on for longer than I should have and last week was a breaking point.
My interval run on a Tuesday did not materialise on the treadmill so I left it to the evening hills but as the day progressively wore me down I started to think ‘skip it’. Perhaps I should have at this stage as the following days were worse BUT I am adhering to ‘One Day at a Time’ methodology so am NOT allowed to think about the next day until it arrives. I was just on the verge of closing down for the day and checked some mail and there was that FREE FUEL I was talking about. Comments and thoughts that people openly put out there for me to read gave me huge strength, HUGE strength. You have to first believe in yourself but never belittle or dismiss the power of others also believing in you. Simple words enabled me to put my game head on and get the tired and battered vehicle that is my body do one more session.
Now for the eye opener and major lesson I already knew but along the path of over thinking it is lesson I have all too often ‘forgotten’. These are words that I use a lot and do not always live by. I think I do, but I don’t. And when we/you are striving for your goal, remind yourself also never to forget this simple lesson.
Firstly, ask yourself: Why do we do what we do?
Answer, (Emma): Because I love it. I love to train.
Now I think to the past couple of weeks going to hell and back. This is not my living, I am not a pro. I do this by choice because I love it.
It is late in the day, but changing up the training doesn’t mean screwing up. It means when times get rough you need to make changes to find the love. To enjoy what you are doing. Some of you did the night marathon because training with others spurs you on. I chose to do a sightseeing tour of KL with Julie and Hayley for my long Sunday run. Sure it hurt it always does. And sure it was slow it always is. But it was enjoyable. Likewise, swimming with people – so I am not talking but knowing someone is there punching out the lengths as you are gives comfort and yes believe it or not an element of enjoyment. I have no problem training alone, the solitude of solo training allows me to get my mental head on but the power of training with others is huge. Having friends in your corner to train with when the chips are down reminds me of why I am doing it.
A simple equation (not mine loaned from a wise one)
Happy camper = a fast one,
I don’t do it to get fast – I do it because I LOVE IT
And thereof endeth the lesson – to me :)

Tough GUY

From IM to TG

TG stands for ToughGuy. Could this be my next challenge after I am done with IM? Seeing as I have yet to get on a mountain bike and dabble in Xterra I think probably not...although I am quite partial to mud wrestling - (oops! did I just say that out loud??) :)

Anyway check out these glorious pictures...lovely jubbly - fancy dress not compulsory. For the story go to http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1247492/Tough-Guy-contest-Eight-miles-mud-barbed-wire-broken-glass--race-defies-elf-safety-culture.html

Home Office...

I have worked from home today - thank god for internet/skype etc. I have learnt I still have a lot to learn on why we train and rule number one is you must enjoy your training. Even though I THINK I am not consumed it seems I still OVERTHINK the process. I do not think I am concerned about race day yet it is affecting me? Training should hurt, yes, but for the past two weeks hell has become home for my body - and that has not been enjoyable. It is a very weird feeling to feel so fatigued yet not be sick. The smallest tasks seem Everest like in scale. And when I say small I mean small; stairs, typing, reading - oh my gosh reading is really tough!

You should be able to train and function properly and I have to admit my normal functioning has not been great of late. So today I worked from home and rested (I hope that is okay Boss). The fog of fatigue that has swallowed me up for the past 2 weeks I feel is clearing a little. Bed is now calling and tomorrow is a new day :)

MY Golden Ticket

So I looked. I sneaked a peak. For the first time I had a look at the competitor list. I am my own competition - I have always said that...but I guess so long as it doesn't mess your head up (mine couldn't get much more messed up anyway) then it can be good to know. It's up to him up there if it all goes smoothly or pear shaped. I can just be as ready as I can be.

Now I have new motivation. My mojo is low, eyes half closed and legs of lead. My body just wants to get horizontal (alone!!)... BUT I WILL NOT allow it to. I still have work to do. I need to sort my run...the run is the Golden ticket. I am Charlie and Kona is the Chocolate factory. I need to get me that Golden ticket. I have ONE chance. If I thought I was already training my best...then I better wake UP, toughen up and go eat some hills for dinner.

Long Weekend...but arn't they all?

Twas a holiday on Saturday here in Selangor. Didn't really affect me. I do not HAVE to work on Saturday but if I am able I usually pop my nose in the door to say 'Hi' at some point. Lately though that hasn't happened. Emma is pooped!

So my Saturday ride. Last week was MENTAL. And I mean that with regards to both demands of work and the training that at this stage just keeps creeping up and draining the life from my body. Eating is something that got boring a long time ago but I do it to keep moving. And I find the more volume of training and the harder it gets (read: those tough days) I am having to literally throw fuel in the tank ALL THE TIME.

So off the back of a toughie Monday to Friday where mojo and motivation hit rock bottom I didn't know whether I would be ready to fire up the engine on Saturday. Last Saturday was awful...would it be a repeat or would I have FUN?

I set out with my 'Knights' - you know who you are. And I would also like to add again that I really appreciate your support. You don't have to ride with me. You know I am not going to talk or be very social but you are happy to sit there and that gives me HUGE peace of mind. I owe you guys some dinner after IM!

ANYWAY...lets cut a 4hr45min ride short shall we. TBB - KLIA downtown - Sepang - Salak - TBB. Got to Sepang and I was rather surprised at the time. I think it was the quickest I had riden since Camsur when I posted my best ever 70.3 bike split. I am still asking Fasial if his 'Jobby', Read (gps thingy-ma-jiggy) is accurate. Anyway - the ride was awesome and a much needed boost to my low moral and motivation.

Post ride I refueled SEE pictures - big and I mean BIG (the picture does not do justice) bowl of fruits, muesli and natural yogurt with protein powder. And a little later the best spinach, ham, egg and cheese muffin you could imagine (picture does not do it justice :)

One session down two more to go. I dialed in a long swim - and I wanted to execute it and execute it well. Job done. Carved up some kids. Warned them that 'I cannot SEE YOU and I am using PADDLES - I do NOT want to HURT you, BUT I WILL) Okay so I didn't say that bit - But I did say I don't want to hurt them! They thought it was FUN to play 'chicken' in MY imaginary lane.

Brick interval RUN. Phew...HOT HOT. NASTY but job done in the bag. Perhaps not the best ever but I was on the verge of collapse afterwards so I reckon I gave a good effort. Yes? No?

Home, shower, FOOD...BED.

My Sunday coffee run with long legs. Got a message 'I just woke up. Not gonna make it, will you be okay?' Ha! No worries...so I started a little later just after 7am for safety. This was pure torture. I did a great first half but I could tell things were not great. The body was talking to me and she wasn't happy. Kept throwing stuff in but didn't get much better. I finished it though and in style. With a double shot caramel ice blend at Coffee Bean. Boy O Boy did that hit the spot. Lady in the que noted how it was 'ever so hot to be running'. You must be crazy she says. Not the first person to call me crazy and probably not the last. Yes it was hot. I heard on the grapevine it can also be hot in Langkawi...whats the big deal? The best thing about Langkawi is the refueling is FREE...Do you know how much my Sunday run cost me??? 3 cans of isotonic, 2 bottles of water, choc mint GU, Chomps, FREE water from Coffee Bean but the ice blend with double shot cost me RM16 - So whats that amount to...oh I dunno but a lot for 3 hours of pain!

1pm a 'light' sports leg massage from Julz. Twas good. I then had to rush off and do errands but got home by 6 to do a recovery run. Hurt but I went as slow as I wanted without walking - that was the rule. Home, Shower, FOOD, BED (are you seeing a pattern here) :)