Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Bloggers Block

I have wanted to blog. I have been meaning to blog. I like blogging. But I have had ‘bloggers block’. This is actually a certified term and most probably in the dictionary right up there with all the other crazy terminology our great Oxford Dictionary has decided to adopt. But so long as ‘arse’ remains ‘arse’ and not ‘ass’ I won’t complain.
Usually training gives me plenty of time to mental ‘blog’.When alone in the pool, on the bike or on the run, ‘stuff’ usually comes to me in waves. I have those ‘light bulb’ moments. A rule of my blogging is that the negatives must always be turned into positives – it doesn’t matter how bad the experience is if there is no positive it isn’t going to be blogged.
I am still learning about this game (read:triathlon). I have a lot to learn and every day I am reminded of that fact. I think I know myself, my strengths, my weaknesses. And then I am proven wrong. I find it easy to talk and encourage others; this is what I love to do. Hearing about your stories, your journey, the trials and tribulations of life outside my cave that has become my place of solitude for the past few months. This I am afraid is my body’s choice not mine, sometimes it is my heads choice, but most of the time it is the bodies choice to stay put and not venture out into the big wide world of KL.
So you can probably understand why I love to hear what others are doing. As mine has become pretty well scripted. Not many changes and re-writes going on to speak of, same ol’ same ol. But the problem with being tucked away in a cave is you miss out on all the FREE energy and vibes out there. Positive people give off positive energy and vibes. This can also be translated as FREE FUEL. While this kind of FUEL will not halt the hunger pangs it works to move one forward when you think you are done.
I experienced this gift of free fuel last week. You should always practice what you preach and I thought I do this. Apparently not though and hence I still have a lot to learn. I am a thinker. Apparently I am an over thinker and over think training, goals and life in general. Try as I might NOT to over think, hello!, I still do it. I have feelings of guilt if a session is not completed as it should and think that that one session alone will be a valuable loss. As such I have ploughed on for longer than I should have and last week was a breaking point.
My interval run on a Tuesday did not materialise on the treadmill so I left it to the evening hills but as the day progressively wore me down I started to think ‘skip it’. Perhaps I should have at this stage as the following days were worse BUT I am adhering to ‘One Day at a Time’ methodology so am NOT allowed to think about the next day until it arrives. I was just on the verge of closing down for the day and checked some mail and there was that FREE FUEL I was talking about. Comments and thoughts that people openly put out there for me to read gave me huge strength, HUGE strength. You have to first believe in yourself but never belittle or dismiss the power of others also believing in you. Simple words enabled me to put my game head on and get the tired and battered vehicle that is my body do one more session.
Now for the eye opener and major lesson I already knew but along the path of over thinking it is lesson I have all too often ‘forgotten’. These are words that I use a lot and do not always live by. I think I do, but I don’t. And when we/you are striving for your goal, remind yourself also never to forget this simple lesson.
Firstly, ask yourself: Why do we do what we do?
Answer, (Emma): Because I love it. I love to train.
Now I think to the past couple of weeks going to hell and back. This is not my living, I am not a pro. I do this by choice because I love it.
It is late in the day, but changing up the training doesn’t mean screwing up. It means when times get rough you need to make changes to find the love. To enjoy what you are doing. Some of you did the night marathon because training with others spurs you on. I chose to do a sightseeing tour of KL with Julie and Hayley for my long Sunday run. Sure it hurt it always does. And sure it was slow it always is. But it was enjoyable. Likewise, swimming with people – so I am not talking but knowing someone is there punching out the lengths as you are gives comfort and yes believe it or not an element of enjoyment. I have no problem training alone, the solitude of solo training allows me to get my mental head on but the power of training with others is huge. Having friends in your corner to train with when the chips are down reminds me of why I am doing it.
A simple equation (not mine loaned from a wise one)
Happy camper = a fast one,
I don’t do it to get fast – I do it because I LOVE IT
And thereof endeth the lesson – to me :)


sofiantriathlete said...

I think this saturday roads will be choc a block cars people going away. Be careful. (KLIA might be alright though).

Emma said...

will do, thanks for the heads up :)